Match Day Results... The Anticlimax
So, it was match day. I figured that checking my match would be a formality. Until I found out that I matched to my fourth choice. Holy crap. The good program in the town I didn't like. I was devastated.
My first instinct was to confront the program director and ask what the hell happened... how could he stab me in the back this way after being my mentor for two years? But as much as I hate to admit it, I was unable to even talk about the match without feeling myself come dangerously close to tears. There was no way in HELL I'd approach him only to break down. There is no crying in medicine (which is a rule that likely warrents it's own entry). I never did get any closure on that one. I only saw him one more time before school was over. I was doing a consult in emerg on behalf of internal medicine (my last rotation) and he was the attending on that night. He came up behind me and said in a high pitched whine... "so what HAAA-pened?". What the fuck do you mean, what happened? Grr. I very calmly said that I had ranked his program first, as I had been very clear about since the beginning. His pathetic attempt at a response?
"Hmm. I wonder what happened, then? Cause we ranked you REALLY high."
Um, sure you did, buddy. So why is it that one of the three people that ended up matching to your program I know for a FACT ranked another program higher? Bottom line... there were three spots, and they went to three people that the program had ranked higher than me. And I was leaving.
Now I could go into the betrayal I felt by being left out in the cold by my home program after being assured that they wanted to keep me there. I could go into the dread I felt at having to move to a city that I had lived in before (albeit during a not-very-happy phase of my life) and hated with a passion. I could talk about leaving my friends, my gym, my sweet apartment and the first town I had felt a real connection with to move to a new place that might have well been on the moon for how easy it became to visit my family... but I won't. Cause that would take me forever.
I gave myself all of 24 hours to feel sorry for myself, then I picked up my significant other and our dog and headed to our new digs. Ever try finding a decent place to rent when you have a dog? Yeesh. It was NOT a fun experience. It seems that my new town, although it had a lot of rentals available, didn't have all that much that was... um... livable. In fact, trying to find a place in my new city was a disaster that I'd rather not dwell on. Obviously, this was NOT a fun time.
So that brings us close enough to today. I'm now a first year resident in emergency medicine. For you newbies to the world of medical education, a resident is a junior doctor. I have graduated from medical school, and there is a "Dr." in front of my name, I'm allowed to perscribe drugs, but I'm very closely supervised and have very little autonomy. Oh, and I make all of $44K (Canadian) a year, which works out to all of about $10 an hour if you divide it by the number of hours I actually work in a week.
Now, on to the interesting stuff. Well, interesting to me, anyway.