The world of medicine is like a bubble. A lot of people THINK they know what goes on there, but unless you're down in the trenches it's unlikely you do. So here is my semi-anonymous blog, here to tell you what really goes on in the life of a medical resident.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I Have So Much To Say...

Really, I do.

I want to talk about my hunt for a full-time emerg position for the end of my residency.

I want to talk about my new part-time job.

I want to talk about balancing medicine with being a mom, and the effect that one has on the other. 

I want to talk about the culture of abuse in medicine and why we shouldn't ignore it anymore.

I want to talk about some of the political bullshit that has been going on around our emerg department.

I want to talk about how going through medical training has changed me as a person... for better and for worse.

I want to talk about some of the crazy cases I've seen (with details changed to protect privacy, of course).

I want to talk about family medicine, and whether or not I'll continue to do it.

There is SO MUCH I want to talk about.

But instead, I am studying. Right now I have 16 days until my emergency medicine board exams. I have come to terms with the fact that I might not pass them. I feel like the other examinees are miles ahead of me. Besides having actually finished the residency program (I still have 3 months to go), they all have 2 months as staff emerg docs under their belts. I am no where near where they are right now, and I feel it. I'm trying not to panic, knowing that the only real consequence to failing this exam is the hit that I'll take to my pride. That, and the $2500 I'll have to shell out to write it again next year. But I'll still be employable. Even in full-time emerg. 

In the meantime, though, I've put my life on hold. I haven't even started to apply for full-time jobs. We haven't even looked into where we'd like to live. My baby weight is still firmly attached to my midsection. I haven't worked out since before getting pregnant. I can count the number of times I've gone for a run since giving birth on my fingers. I haven't read anything but my review books and Tintinalli for months. I've lost touch with long-distance friends and still have managed to live in this town for over a year without any semblance of personal life beyond my husband and my kid. I haven't cooked in so long I forget where our pots are kept. I haven't blogged in ages. 

But for better or for worse, in 19 days it will all be over. 

Thank God.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hang in there. Life will get better really soon!

10:03 PM

Blogger Angie said...

Good luck. 19 days isn't that long to wait for a life, but it's still lots of time to get some studying in.

8:28 AM

Blogger Nikki said...

You're almost there. Good luck!!!

6:58 PM

Blogger Amanda said...

Sounds like my life. Then I passed the exams and life is much better. Hang in there.

9:18 PM

Blogger med neophyte said...

Good luck!
You have made it this far. With all the work, energy and balancing you have had to put in so far, I am sure you will do great.

10:10 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You'll get your life back once this is over. And I'll love you regardless!


10:12 PM

Blogger Resident Anesthesiologist Guy (RAG) said...

Wishing you best of luck with everything. Sounds extremely stressful and I hope that you're fairing well.

3:21 PM

Blogger Midwife with a Knife said...

You'll do great!

9:31 AM


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